By Ann | Published | No Comments
About us? What’s in a name? “what’s in a name?” famously comes from William Shakespeare’s play Romeo and Juliet. In the play, Juliet contemplates the significance of Romeo’s name, arguing that a name is an arbitrary label and does not affect the true nature of the person or thing it represents. We humbly disagree with the Bard. A name represents identity and first impressions. A name represents symbolism and personal meaning. While a name might be an arbitrary label, its impact on identity, perception, and various societal and personal contexts can be profound. The meaning and significance of a name extend far beyond its simple function as an identifier, influencing many aspects of life and human experience. As a result, when two senior adults, having spent decades educating others, were faced with life and wanted to develop a community sharing experiences and ideas with others through a blog, what do they call it and why? We opted for a tongue-in-cheek reference for not ready to move on out of life, GRADUATE, just yet!
While contemplating our name we thought, we live in a goal-oriented society, where setting and achieving objectives is central to how we structure our lives, measure success, and define our identities. This focus on goal setting can be seen in various aspects of life, including education, career, personal development, and even leisure activities. From birth, we look forward to our kids not wearing diapers, walking, talking, or going to middle school and high school. Through gritted teeth and lack of sleep, our children get their driver’s licenses, go on dates, graduate from high school, and go off to college. In our careers, we graduate college, get our first job, and get our reviews, promotions, raises, and retirement. In our personal lives, we date, get engaged, get married, have kids, shepherd our children’s growth, development, and aging, and then empty nesters. Then, after these steps, what’s next? What do we graduate to? What’s the next stage?
One element of our lives about finality stuck out to us as particularly life-changing. Graduation marks the end of a structured environment and the beginning of what can be a more uncertain phase of life. This transition from a structured, routine environment to one where emotional attachments end, bonds with friends and classmates leave voids, the life you enjoyed while working toward graduation, such as regular study times, exercise, or social activities end. Ending can trigger anxiety and uncertainty. For many, identity is closely tied to their role as a graduate. Graduating means leaving that identity behind and transitioning to a new, often less-defined role, leading to confusion, lack of support, and decreased self-worth. Educational years often represent a time of significant social bonding and personal development. Reflecting on the enjoyable and meaningful experiences up to graduation can make moving on seem less desirable. Nostalgia surrounds us at the thought of graduating and moving on. “Not ready to graduate” encompasses a range of emotional, psychological, social, and practical concerns. The idea of moving from the familiar to the unfamiliar and unknown is a complicated, uncertain time that can significantly impact mental and emotional well-being. We may struggle to find purpose, we question the decisions and choices made, we look for direction and motivation.
I am Ann, and having been in healthcare for over 40 years, I am familiar with Erikson’s theory. Erik Erikson was a developmental psychologist known for his theory of psychosocial development, which outlined the psychological challenges individuals face at various stages of life. Erikson proposed that each stage of development is characterized by specific psychosocial crisis or conflict that must be successfully resolved for healthy growth to occur. There are two challenges for people over 60: Generativity vs. Stagnation and Integrity vs. Despair, two separate stages. Adults contribute to society through work, family, and community involvement. They also reflect on their life and accomplishments. Successful resolution leads to feelings of fulfillment and productivity. Secondly, adults reflect on their lives and experiences. They seek to find meaning and accept the life they have lived. Successful resolution leads to feelings of wisdom, acceptance, and integrity. Even though we feel we have led productive lives, had lists of accomplishments, and had meaningful lives, stepping up to the graduation podium of older adulthood puts a sense of finality to our thinking.
You can call me Jim. I have been in the Information Technology field for a long time. Instead of graduating from one step to another, I started my career with a TRS-80 writing assembler and BASIC code. My steps were more like an evolution. I went from a small computer in the 1970’s to learning how to program on a mainframe. Then, the Internet came out, and I coded with HTML 1 using Notepad as an editor. As I grew and again evolved, from different career positions, I realized that in order to stay in the field I was in, graduation wasn’t possible, you had to constantly evolve. Now as I enter what some call the last 1/3 of life, I realized that I don’t have to graduate to old age, I could evolve to another new person. I am still learning, and hopefully, I will be for the next few years.
Ann and I are partners in this endeavor. We hope to bring some enjoyment along with information as we post more stories about what we are going through, what we are still learning, and where we are going.
While feeling reluctant to leave the familiar environment is natural, we must embrace the transition! Embracing the transition with a positive mindset can open new possibilities and help navigate this critical phase of life. Remember, every ending is also a new beginning. By exploring new interests, reflecting on personal values, and seeking new experiences, we can find new sources of meaning and direction in our golden years. We want to navigate this final phase up to graduating life with excitement and preparedness. Successful aging involves maintaining physical health, staying mentally and socially active, and finding purpose and meaning. We are not ready to graduate, but we are prepared to peek behind the current to see how we can manage the transition gracefully.